Resolutions: piece of cake

I did it. Fulfilled my resolutions for 2011. Every one of them. While you were lolling around procrastinating and finding ways to avoid what you had set out to do, I was my usual focused, committed, diligent, persevering, and unblinking self, blasting anything that came in the way of me and the fulfillment of my resolutions. So it is with great joy, and profound humility, that I present before you my royal conquests.

#	Resolution at the start of the year	Fulfillment
1	Achieve a dramatic turnaround in my body weight and achieve a balance which will aid me in aligning my external and internal persona resulting in a harmonious synergy of body and spirit.	Gained 10.25 kgs.
2	Immerse myself in celebrated works of literary accomplishment to enrich my intellect and leave me throbbing with perspicacity and sagacity.	Read 291 book reviews.
3	Travel to hitherto unknown lands so as to broaden my worldview and assimilate the experiences of diverse cultures thus making me an epitome of syncreticity.	Went to Bhindi Bazaar.
4	Associate myself with meaningful and change-inducing social causes demanding courage which would leave an imprint on the course of the times to come.	Stared at an auto-wallah.
5	Make a multitude of friends of the opposite sex so as to be able to understand their thought processes better and have a plethora of mutually rewarding and memorable experiences.	Followed Mallika Sherawat, Poonam Pandey and Sherlyn Chopra on twitter.
6	Involve myself with rejuvenating sporting activities so as to increase my energy levels and attain exemplary fitness.	Played Scrabble on facebook.
7	Learn more about the lives of luminaries belonging to different fields so as to attain inspiration to ascend to great heights.	Read a dozen obituaries.
8	Delve deep into the world of cool gadgets.	Learnt how to scroll through a document on a MacBook.
9	Get in touch with old friends and make new ones with the objective of enriching my social life and surrounding myself with invigorating conviviality.	Sent 21 friend requests on facebook, 5 on Netlog, and several others on other forums, the names of which are tough to recall.
10	Invest in art.	Went to The Comedy Store.

Jealous? :D Well, you can do it too.

Dutt, the Guru

Ab na woh mahfilen rahin,

Na rahe woh yarane,

Tab dilsaz galiyan sari gulzar thin,

Ab har mod pe taakte hain veerane.

Na zubaan pe haya ki thi bediyan,

Na dil mein afsos-e-berukhi thi tabhi,

Us be-lagaam hayat mein bhi,

Har koi aata tha apnane.

Tune ji li apni zindagi Sabih,

Saari maujen au' ravaani nosh kin,

Ab soch mat aur uth kar tu chal,

Aayen hain kuch sanjeeda log tujhe dafnane.

The In Thing

The tattoo parlor guy said this is the latest fad, and it will change India!!!! So I went for it.

The CO(mmo)N MAN

Submit fake bills. Cheat with your taxes. Break traffic signals. Break every queue. Kill the girl child. And the elder ones too, if they dare to have a mind of their own. Bribe and save time. Employ children at home. If you are "higher up", hate the dirty rats. If you are "disadvantaged" by birth, substitute strife with sloganeering. Blame the politicos YOU chose because they belong to the same caste as YOURS for the mess around you. If someone can't speak your language, cut off his tongue. If someone can't see the TRUTH you can SEE, gouge out his eyeballs. If someone has a different skin color, peel it off. Don't worry, a moron with zero credibility behind him is leading a tamasha which is serving as a nice filler between the World Cup and the IPL at a place suitably called Jantar Mantar, and you can wipe your slate clean by scribbling your name on a piece of paper.

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

INVICTUS
By William Ernest Henley, 1875

Time out

Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behate the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behate the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Aankh ke ek gaaon mein, raat ko khwaab aate the
Aankh ke ek gaaon mein, raat ko khwaab aate the
Chuney se behte the, bole to kehte the
Udte khwaabon ka aitbaar kahan
Udte khwaabon ka aitbaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Jin dino aap the, aankh mein dhoop thi
Jin dino aap rehte the, aankh mein dhoop rehti thi
Ab to jaale hi jaale hain, weh bhi jaane wale hain
Woh jo tha dard ka karaar kahan
Woh jo tha dard ka karaar kahan


Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behte the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
--------------------------------------------------------------------

There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled,
There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled,
Where have they disappeared, the gushing falls?

In the village of my sight, the night was frequented by visions,
Which flowed when touched, and whispered in collusion,
How can trust be imposed in those flighty illusions?
Just how can trust be imposed in those flighty illusions?

There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled...

On days you were, bright sunshine held sway,
On days you were around, bright sunshine seemed to hold sway,
Now all that remain are gossamer threads, about to wither away.
The covenant of suffering lies appalled...
The covenant of suffering lies appalled.

There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled,
Where have they disappeared, the gushing falls?

7 Habits of Highly Effective tweeple

#1 Don't play Jesus. Follow those who follow you.
#2 Don't just fart. Find causes close to your heart.
#3 Don't take a chicken for a turkey. Recognise fake celebs.
#4 Shortening your links looks clean.
#5 Using trending topics to get followers is like burning your skin to get a tan.
#6 You CAN upload pics and videos AND post tweets longer than 140 characters. LEARN it.
#7 Don't you change your clothes? Keep changing your background.

The 8th Habit
#8 Be regular, goddammit.