Susegad

Originally released as Goa Diaries in June 2007
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Hello people! If the trivia hasn't reached you yet, I am currently in Goa for a one month Sales Officer training stint, and this place is indeed as full of surprises as I had imagined it to be! Every hotel room has three taps- one for cold water, one for hot water, and the third one for booze. Prawns, squids and pomfrets hang from the trees- just extend your hand and pluck whatever you wish to! Man, is this for real or is this a fairytale!
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Goa went to the polls on June 2, and even the elections were quite extraordinary. No posters, no loudspeakers, and no rallies!!! The Election Commission had come down real hard this time due to Goa's reputation as a truant electorate. Anybody hoarding more than two crates of beer was hauled up for questioning. Goa has had a tradition of leaders defecting at the drop of a hat, and when I guessed the going rate for an MLA as 1 crore before a local, he burst out laughing, stating that 1 crore would be the rate for someone aspiring to be the part of the town panchayat in Goa. When I enquired as to how the panchayat member would earn back his investment, two most ready avenues cited were: granting permission to non-Goans to acquire land in Goa, and arranging for people to smuggle liquor out of Goa. Currently, only two bottles of booze can be taken out of the State's boundaries, and with Royal Challenge costing 310/- here (against over 500/- in Mumbai), the booze bounty game is BIG! A shot of brandy/whisky costs 10 bucks in the hotel I am staying in. Man oh man, talk of temptations! J Some people start hicc-ing as early as 10 AM, and some of the liquor shops open before the chemists. Also, the whole State shuts down from 1-4 PM, for reasons you can well imagine by now. ;)
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I went to Colva and Calingute beaches last week, and found them to be much cleaner than their Mumbai counterparts. There was a CCD right on the beach. Next weekend, one of my salesmen has promised to escort me to a beach which is off-bounds for Indians (I wonder why!). On Colva beach, I was accosted by a lady who ended up giving me a deadly King Cobra tattoo on my arm. Pity I have to bathe daily, and most of it has already vanished.
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Life here is so quiet at times that you can feel your eardrums humming. No wonder Charles Sobhraj chose Goa for his hideout. He was eventually picked up from a bar on the outskirts of Panjim (Ou Croquiere), and the owners decided to put up a bust of Sobhraj which is placed on the seat in the bar where he was having a drink when caught. Complementing the scenic landscape are take-your-breath-away cottages and houses and Victorian churches which are a treat to the eyes. Goa is a place where you can find a 'Cake Palace' serving croissants and soufflés on a deserted highway! No matter where you go to, there is a dainty little surprise waiting for you.
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Talking of dainty little surprises, I have to mention the million Marias that compete with the hills and the greens for beauty. Dressed in flowing skirts with their hair arranged in neat buns, they float past you like fairies. And these fairies are not just drop-dead-gorgeous, they are pretty efficient as well, as almost ALL the shops in Goa are managed by salesgirls. They order stocks, manage accounts, and even lock up the shops at closing time. When I enquired about the reason for this peculiar phenomenon, one of my wholesaler's staff quipped: "They are there to attract customers". When I pretended to be aghast at this, and pointed out to him that with all the shops having salesgirls, this incentive is nullified, he added that they charge less salaries, and are more honest. Whatever may the reason be, it is indeed a pleasure to be selling Horlicks to these lissome lasses.
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It was torturous to keep myself from discussing food for so long, but I intended to save the best for the last. This place does not offer food, it serves ambrosia! I look forward to trying out a new dish each night, and have never been disappointed yet. Fried pomfret, Prawn Xacuti, King Prawns served in hot garlic sauce, Chicken Vindaloo, Prawns Balchao, King Fish Masala Gravy, Shark steaks, Fried Squids… they serve it all with panache! And you can even munch upon Prawn patties ( 3.50/- apiece) and dip your fingers in prawn pickles! I have not been able to lay my hands on a crab yet, as they are caught only when the new moon appears. I wonder what good deeds my forefathers did for me to deserve these.

Recommended reading: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/destinations/india/article565695.ece .