Dutt, the Guru

Ab na woh mahfilen rahin,

Na rahe woh yarane,

Tab dilsaz galiyan sari gulzar thin,

Ab har mod pe taakte hain veerane.

Na zubaan pe haya ki thi bediyan,

Na dil mein afsos-e-berukhi thi tabhi,

Us be-lagaam hayat mein bhi,

Har koi aata tha apnane.

Tune ji li apni zindagi Sabih,

Saari maujen au' ravaani nosh kin,

Ab soch mat aur uth kar tu chal,

Aayen hain kuch sanjeeda log tujhe dafnane.

The In Thing

The tattoo parlor guy said this is the latest fad, and it will change India!!!! So I went for it.

The CO(mmo)N MAN

Submit fake bills. Cheat with your taxes. Break traffic signals. Break every queue. Kill the girl child. And the elder ones too, if they dare to have a mind of their own. Bribe and save time. Employ children at home. If you are "higher up", hate the dirty rats. If you are "disadvantaged" by birth, substitute strife with sloganeering. Blame the politicos YOU chose because they belong to the same caste as YOURS for the mess around you. If someone can't speak your language, cut off his tongue. If someone can't see the TRUTH you can SEE, gouge out his eyeballs. If someone has a different skin color, peel it off. Don't worry, a moron with zero credibility behind him is leading a tamasha which is serving as a nice filler between the World Cup and the IPL at a place suitably called Jantar Mantar, and you can wipe your slate clean by scribbling your name on a piece of paper.

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

INVICTUS
By William Ernest Henley, 1875

Time out

Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behate the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behate the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Aankh ke ek gaaon mein, raat ko khwaab aate the
Aankh ke ek gaaon mein, raat ko khwaab aate the
Chuney se behte the, bole to kehte the
Udte khwaabon ka aitbaar kahan
Udte khwaabon ka aitbaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Jin dino aap the, aankh mein dhoop thi
Jin dino aap rehte the, aankh mein dhoop rehti thi
Ab to jaale hi jaale hain, weh bhi jaane wale hain
Woh jo tha dard ka karaar kahan
Woh jo tha dard ka karaar kahan


Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behte the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
--------------------------------------------------------------------

There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled,
There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled,
Where have they disappeared, the gushing falls?

In the village of my sight, the night was frequented by visions,
Which flowed when touched, and whispered in collusion,
How can trust be imposed in those flighty illusions?
Just how can trust be imposed in those flighty illusions?

There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled...

On days you were, bright sunshine held sway,
On days you were around, bright sunshine seemed to hold sway,
Now all that remain are gossamer threads, about to wither away.
The covenant of suffering lies appalled...
The covenant of suffering lies appalled.

There is no yearning now which leaves me enthralled,
Where have they disappeared, the gushing falls?

7 Habits of Highly Effective tweeple

#1 Don't play Jesus. Follow those who follow you.
#2 Don't just fart. Find causes close to your heart.
#3 Don't take a chicken for a turkey. Recognise fake celebs.
#4 Shortening your links looks clean.
#5 Using trending topics to get followers is like burning your skin to get a tan.
#6 You CAN upload pics and videos AND post tweets longer than 140 characters. LEARN it.
#7 Don't you change your clothes? Keep changing your background.

The 8th Habit
#8 Be regular, goddammit.

Wha2do!

Once upon a time, there was a Helenji, and whole of India used to dream of her only. Cabaret shabaret she did. Also all other types of dance forms. Uncles and bhaiyyas and babalog all dreamed of her for years and years. There were some small small dance queens like Jaishri T and Padma Khanna too, for the mujras and gajras and thumka songs. Then Hemaji came, and became a dreamgirl only! Everybody whistling and crying Basantiii Basantiiiii.

Later, Sridevi aunty came and did Hawa Hawaiii and people went crazy! Also Madhuri aunty taught us to do Ek Do Teen... and these two ruled over the Indian libido for one decade! Choli ke peeche... dhak dhak... all sorts of Chaalbazi they did, and all dewars of didis were swooning over these Roop ki ranis and dying to give Tohfa to them. So easy for poster makers no? Madhuri Sri Devi Sri Devi Madhuri, that's it!!

But then they had to marry no! Madhuri aunty chose some doctor shoctor and went to Amrika! And Sri Devi aunty God knows why fell for that boneless meatloaf Bony. Then we all thought: wha2do now!! Sure there was that bong bomb Rani. And also Kareena baby. Cute they were, sometimes hot too. But things were changing only. How you ask? Wait no, I am telling.

Bollywood people became desperate. Story and all ghanta they had. No script also. Acting? Hahaha, joking or what? So wha2do now? Simple na! ITEM NUMBER! People now did not ask what is the story, who is hero, any dhishum dhishum or what? Only they wanted to know: Item Number hai kya!! And bygod, what raapchik item girls came! Shilpa Shetty, who was shut in some can or something, came and shook her booty so hard, that not only U.P. and Bihar but whole world was robbed of dil ka qarar! And then that yummy firang, Yana Gupta, drove all Baboojis mad while dropping her bijli! Isha Khallased all of us!!! Even the ice-cold bitch Aishwarya, who could not have attracted a horny Arab deprived of the sight of a female for a hundred years, sang durrty durrty songs like Isq Kameena and raised the temperature. Sush also swayed to Mehboob Mere, only one dance step she knows though! And Ramadoss uncle so very squirmed on his butt as Bips lit our Bidis and sprinkled namak isq ka on our wounded hearts. So we were all hooked onto this item song and all.

But now!???! God, now it has become impossible only! Everywhere now girls are like too good!! You go to a theatre and drop your popcorn when Deepika Padukone comes and smiles that peachy peachy smile on that almond-like face! Next Friday you have a frolicky Freida, showing latka jhatka as Latika. And then you have a sassy Sonam fluttering her lashes and all mawalis start maaring girls maska by doing Masakalli Matakalliiii. Also mast mast Mahie Gill, doing Emosanal Atyachar on poor poor boys and smashing aeroplanes in door des ke towers!! So cool no?? Every Friday some cool new hot thing! BUT DOES IT STOP THERE??? NOOOOO!! :(

Too cruel the scene is now! You do anything, and you have to fear being driven crazy by poster girls! Want to see sport? Save yourself from SaniAAH Mirza! Now there is even a Saina! And those Bhambri sisters, dusky and all! (Frankly though, my personal favorite was always Anju Bobby, with those legs that seemed to go on forever.) Wanna watch Biz news?? Arre what biz and whither news?? So tough to watch that ticker with such ticklish treats like Ayesha Faridi, Shireen Bhan, Mitali Mukherjee and Sumaira Abidi smiling coyly! Swoon! Cricket, you planning to watch? WHOAAA, lookatthose cheerleaders! Chee cheee what are they wearing... wowww actually!!! Politics, someone said?? Wokay! Priyanks, what a fab figure! Agatha K Sangma, India's youngest MP at 27 years, what a chink! :) And make way for Kanimozhi, sultry siren from sambarland, raising the political mercury.

And now, with this cable shable and multiplayx and all, life is only tougher for tapori log. Let me not even start R&Ring about the Gisele Bundchens and Jessica Albas and Jessica Biels and Jessica Simpsons and Rihannas and Sharapovas of the world!!!

SO TOUGH then, leching now no?? Not like the good ol' days, when one-two names everyone used to chant. Wha2do!!!